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two shades of desperate by ~inmyroom:iconinmyroom:





It crackles like static, this love --
damaged, like vinyl records
attracting dust that sleeps inside grooves,
falling deeper into slumber
as the stylus passes over
and over

scratching, so I can’t settle
into the paralysed wind
and I’m waiting,
like an old set of speakers
on the wall, declining all requests
to overflow the room with it’s hums
until you un-press mute

and isn’t it funny
how I still sit at work, after all this time
and open stubborn carrier bags
on my checkout, charging the thin metal strip
of conveyer belt edges
to untouchable --
until a slip of a finger
brings another shock

and I blame you
for having such numb hands
that cannot peel the plastic apart.
©2005-2009 ~inmyroom
:iconinmyroom:

Author's Comments

..

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfjollemis:
heh your poems sometimes seem more a story than a poem, it is a good poem though. :)
:iconangelofplottwists:
Hmm...I like it, actually. It conveys emotions really well.

--
This is your punishment.
:iconthegreatmizuti:
*hugs* wow this is good but i do question the meaning behind it sorry me being nosey well its a fave in my book keep it up

--
The standards of justice of this world, decided against driving ambitions and turbulent emotions of a small handful of people
:iconyurishortcake:
your poems are somtiems like stories with a abstract twist to it, that's why i like reading your work.

--
...oO Nihongo de nan to iimasu ka? Oo...

clubs:
:KyoDream:
:degclub:
:kyo-love:
:miyavirocks:
:iconqueenhrosie:
Working in a supermarket??

AM I WRONG AND STUPID??

Luckily it is still beautiful, though takes a bit to ponder.

*tiptoes*

--
I hear
your voice
down the hall, through the window, above
all those trees, a light
it seems
& you are singing. What song
is that The words
are beautiful.

-LeRoi Jones
:iconpurpl3sky:
Very beautiful.

--
acid goes to your head;

ecstasy goes to your heart


Peace&Love
:kitty: :peace: :heart:
:iconbriefrespite:
the first 2 stanzas are best.
yup

--
x
:iconbrokenheartedsoul:
You have a way with words that I admire...

--
~*~And so again I fix the damage of another
broken heart.~*~
:iconnicetry-badluck:
i love the end-
great read as always.
enjoyed.

--
*cheers..
:iconanarchypress:
I like it, but I do have a couple of critical comments:

I recommend you change "damaged, like vinyl records" to simply "like a vinyl record." "Damaged" is superfluous, and I think the specificity of a record makes the image stronger.

Line 12: “Its” shouldn’t have an apostrophe in this context.

~M

--
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August 19, 2005
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