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just cant say it enough by ~inmyroom:iconinmyroom:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Other Romance > Open


you know how we liked to drink wine and eat
chicken tikka and doritos in bed
all day? how we liked to get kicked out of English countryside pubs
or get preached at on the Paris metro?
i still do.
i will love you forever.

you have this film on your bones, it's soft
and calming and makes me feel safe, incased.
you have a finger in my windpipe, a picture of yourself
in my cranium. i have heart palpitations hiding
under pavement slabs and sit on them
trying to hide that i will love you forever.

you are allergic to wheat and breasts.
you are allergic to my lips and hoarding big secrets
on your laptop computer. you are allergic
to dairy products and losing
your best friend.
i have months of you to analyse.
i will love you forever.

remember how
we uploaded videos to youtube
i sat on your thighs and looked in your eyes
with an ophthalmoscope to see if your vessels
were in love with me too?

i shoved my hand into your chest
and held on as tight as i could. screaming;
i will love you forever.
©2008-2009 ~inmyroom
:iconinmyroom:

Author's Comments

sometimes i just cant say it enough

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcypriphobia:
~cypriphobia Jun 19, 2008, 1:24:34 PM
"i sat on your thighs and looked in your eyes
with an ophthalmoscope to see if your vessels
were in love with me too"

You're ridiculously good.
:iconvalkvick:
~valkvick Jun 19, 2008, 1:51:53 PM
It's perfect in getting your emotions across. Simply brilliant. :+fav:

--
"A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages."
~Tennessee Williams
:iconbone-white:
~bone-white Jun 19, 2008, 1:52:50 PM
nawww :(:heart: gah! i'm sucker for this..so damn sweet!
:iconinfrunitas:
=Infrunitas Jun 19, 2008, 2:15:33 PM
and sometimes you say just the right amount to inspire the rest of us.

--
To twist one purest cause
Into an honest verse,
Itself, a call to angels.
The saddened lips of song that
Kiss away our innocence
From the vile mundane.
~justb
:icondreamscape-painter:
~dreamscape-painter Jun 19, 2008, 3:31:32 PM
As poetry goes, I think it can be improved. I'm not one for good crits too often; don't even know that you want one. So sorry if that statement is unhelpful.

As an emotional statement goes, I find this incredibly profound. It is an unhindered expression of what you're feeling, and I'm drawn to that. I understand that. I feel that, and I love that I do. Thanks for that.

--
Positive Affirmation: [link]
The Crown's Jewel :heart:
:iconinmyroom:
~inmyroom Jun 19, 2008, 4:27:33 PM
most things can be improved =)

hopefully illl have time to come back to this in a couple of weeks and change it
:icondreamscape-painter:
~dreamscape-painter Jun 19, 2008, 4:39:56 PM
A large part of me doesn't want you to. There is beauty in its flaws.

--
Positive Affirmation: [link]
The Crown's Jewel :heart:
:iconhectatenemesis:
~HectateNemesis Jun 19, 2008, 6:05:01 PM
this seemed so much more authentic than the others. not that the others are not true feelings, who am i to judge that, its just that this one seemed more raw and less crafty.

"sit on them
trying to hide that i will love you forever."

contradicts

"screaming;
i will love you forever."

it kind of threw me off completely.

--
lex
:iconautumn-wind:
~autumn-wind Jun 20, 2008, 1:12:06 AM
you know how we liked to drink wine and eat
chicken tikka and doritos in bed
all day? how we liked to get kicked out of English countryside pubs
or get preached at on the Paris metro?
i still do.
i will love you forever.

The end of the first stanza was so mind blowing. this is simply superb, sending the message across. *sighs* :)

--
They say 'look into the future.' But I always realized, the past made me what I am.

Dazzling bursts of rain, I fall and falter, watching the light scatter stunningly around me; I am alive.
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