1.
I’m not good with bus stops
or their timetables. I want to screw up
the page and throw it
at the next person who says ‘bon soir’
even if they are still looking.
2.
I drink more wine because it helps the trains go faster
and the lessons seem funner and the teacher look happier.
3.
We laugh about sperm and shampoo, they say things so fast.
I don’t understand but laugh anyway, I am too distracted
by private jokes and private parts to care.
4.
I have an itch
and I am embarrassed.
5.
You are embarrassed too.
©2008-2009 *inmyroom
Details
Submitted: March 21, 2008
File Size: 784 bytes
Image Size: 0 bytes
Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 21
Favourites & Collections: 19 [who?]
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Total: 727
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Submitted: March 21, 2008
File Size: 784 bytes
Image Size: 0 bytes
Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 21
Favourites & Collections: 19 [who?]
Views
Total: 727
Today: 0
Downloads
Total: 4
Today: 0
Thumb
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Comments1. great formatting. I love the layout of this poem, it makes itfun to read.
2. great poem 3. typo - *screw 4. I think you should take out all fullstops. be consistent with punctuation. -- "They call me a poet, I wonder what they would say if they saw me from the inside." Yup, the formatting is really cute , the whole poem it's nice, i'm not a critic,so dunno what else to say
 .just that i really like reading it with " Three , fullstop , we laugh about..."  -- whatever doesn't kill you... should try better. "they say things so fast"
I -love- that. Wonderful. -- Yarr. lovely.
-- Showna was here.   don't thank me, comment on my art I enjoy the pace and the suggestiveness of this poem quite a bit. The format supports the content well, and the last line is very effective in opening up the poems focus and message rather than in closing it down. I like the indefinite-ness it stamps on to what has otherwise been pretty straight forward and clear.
i like it
This made me laugh. Nice work.
 -- Don't question it...  thank you thank you thank you.. i edited the typo and ill come back to the punctuation when i have more time to edit!
thank you, im glad you enjoyed it
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