inmyroom

makes photocopies

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I didn't know what to expect by inmyroom, literature

Literature

I didn't know what to expect

i remember how the bathroom smelt like rust and how i was too afraid to look when i first saw you. it was like looking into a smile i could not touch. i imagined what you would feel like, a delicate bird, all covered in blood. i imagined what you would sound like, an old alarm clock wailing. ticktock, it goes as my stomach, it grows. i left you there for weeks in the sun to see if you were real, a secret sickness, a secret club. i imagined what you would look like - a ribcage expanding, all eyelashes and toes. i kept you there, inside of me, your small face. i imagined what you would taste like, an ugly hangover and salty crisps when i drink too much of you, you swish and swirl against my insides, pulling and pinching every part of me. i pull down my pants and hold my breath, afraid that you might be there.

I wear you everywhere by inmyroom, literature

Literature

I wear you everywhere

Oh how it stings, it stings this old poetry, these old things that you mopped up like blood and suds. I smile for you, I felt all new and wasn’t sure what to do. Next, I fastened the seatbelt and stapled my heart to the bed. You lift my sadness off like a hat and what you’ve taken does not feel cold or void, I used to sit and struggle with my heart and lungs all falling out. They slid right down my backside. I grasped and gasped at the loss. Now I sit, I do not struggle as you push it all back in. You lift my sadness off, like an old dress, you remind me of the other things I have to wear.

There's no spark. by inmyroom, literature

Literature

There's no spark.

Did you know that, when you stepped on my chest you would fall right through all that cling film holding the stuff inside. Now it squirms and gathers on pavements below trying to remember how this goes. So love me you love me you love me you love me and now who am I? I'm the one so quick to change in your eye. So I'm fat, so I'm awkward, so I'm unsure. Is that just enough for you to never talk to me anymore?

I will poison myself by inmyroom, literature

Literature

I will poison myself

This is the worst day of my life, I thought I died there in the morning, I don't know who I am, don't know where I am but I know this for sure: this is where you will lay me. And I'll never be happy, and these days make me shiver, you'll kick it all apart, this is what I'll never be. I just want to be happy. I close all the doors and I rest it all, on the bathroom floor, still not sure who, or what I'm sobbing for. Is there something else, that I need. I just want to be happy. And this will never be.

Hahaha, you silly bitch. by inmyroom, literature

Ha. by inmyroom, literature

Literature

Ha.

It's silent around here and I laugh at how in control I am. Oh, it's not my turn to wash the dishes or feed the dog or take the wheelie bin onto the street. Ha, you say, as I get too comfy. I imagine myself inside oceans of you, inside oceans of blue and your eyes sting when they meet my clavicles. Ha, you say as you turn me upside down and pour yourself all out. You leave the small parts of you, like the bad smells and the sick cells that keep me here. and I smile, not knowing that all that while you've not felt a single thing.

It is a joke by inmyroom, literature

Literature

It is a joke

Remember when I did not text you back. It was like you were nothing and I just laughed. I was peering into kaleidoscopes and the colours were beautiful and I just smiled thinking haha fuck you beauty, fuck you soul, fuck you ever wanting to know me at all. Remember when I sent you a letter saying sorry, I was hunting and shot myself in the foot. Metaphorically. You invited me for a drink but did not buy me a drink and you laughed at my gun wound. I laughed at your flip-flops and you looked at my clavicle like you wanted to eat it. I called you a dick and you couldn’t tell if I was joking or not. I held a snorkel in my left han

Our hearts are somewhere by inmyroom, literature

What happens when you stop fighting your heart by inmyroom, literature

Literature

What happens when you stop fighting your heart

You glance at my chest and my lungs smile, willing you to collide your heart into mine. It's a game, a war, it's a story in French that we don't understand, it sounds like earths shaking, it sounds like bones breaking so we stay here and sob here and you do not hold my hand here. I'm wondering if I'm wondering when I'm wondering if you're mad that I laughed at your flip flops. You're so silly and you smell brand new. I cross my legs and turn away so I can't see you peak under my skin. I can see that you're dying to sink yourself in - I drop my cards all over the floor, I pick them up and you glance at my chest. I surrender an

You're such a dick by inmyroom, literature

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I didn't know what to expect by inmyroom, literature

Literature

I didn't know what to expect

I wear you everywhere by inmyroom, literature

Literature

I wear you everywhere

There's no spark. by inmyroom, literature

Literature

There's no spark.

I will poison myself by inmyroom, literature

Literature

I will poison myself

Hahaha, you silly bitch. by inmyroom, literature

Ha. by inmyroom, literature

Literature

Ha.

It is a joke by inmyroom, literature

Literature

It is a joke

Our hearts are somewhere by inmyroom, literature

What happens when you stop fighting your heart by inmyroom, literature

Literature

What happens when you stop fighting your heart

You're such a dick by inmyroom, literature

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I do recall by WhoKilledKirov, literature

Literature

I do recall

. I do recall: curled smoke on pillows never meant to see light, wishing the window sill were deeper- so I could sleep against the glass. a candle brushing cigarettes, a bowl of money by the lamp but it's not Spring, and your arms were never thrilling. I get along without you very well black lace to cover modest breasts, you wear your uniform to town and drink. I kiss you roughly when you come home with lipstick between the bullet and the tree house scars but when rain drips from leaves shaped like coins, I get along without you very well.